Review of Pizza on the Square in Malton, North Yorkshire

I’m not quite sure when this description was first coined, and by whom, but it’s a bit out there, a bit bold.

Malton is as pretty as a North Yorkshire market town can be – particularly the Market Place – but does it have more top-notch restaurants, cafes, bars, and artisan food producers per capita than York, or Leeds, or Helmsley?

Probably not, we reckoned. Because Malton does have form for this sort of boastfulness. It has also claimed to be Yorkshire’s racing capital when of course we all know it is Middleham.

What it does have, however, is two hours’ free parking in the Market Place which is something to really shout about. We parked up and vainly looked around for a ticket machine before the penny dropped. You don’t have to pay!

A good start and we set off seeking sustenance. The Deli of Malton looked lovely from the outside with an appetising board of lunchtime specials. But it was ten past two and they stopped serving those at two so could only offer a sandwich.

No matter, there’s bound to be lots of other options in Yorkshire’s Food Capital, isn’t there?

Next door to The Deli was Omni promising Yorkshire Tapas. Promising. But we walked in, there weren’t any immediately obvious tables available and the staff looked at us as if we were from Outer Space.

Back out in the Market Place, the Old Town Hall hove into view. The honey-coloured stone building looked lovely. We could see people eating and we could see empty tables. Any port in a storm of hunger. That’ll do nicely we thought.

(Image: Malcolm Warne)

And that’s why we went all way to Yorkshire’s so-called Food Capital and ended up eating pizza.

To be fair, as pizzas go, the sourdough jobbies served up at Pizza on the Square were pretty good. In fact they were better than that.

My benchmark for a pizza base is the Pizza Express’ classic which has been untouched since the chain launched in 1965. While there are all sorts of things wrong with Pizza Express these days, the basic dough they still use has stood the test of time.

Whether it’s Dean Street in London’s Soho (where the first Pizza Express opened) or Teesside Park, a classic La Reine is the same everywhere. That sort of reliability is worth something, I reckon.

(Image: Malcolm Warne)

The Pizza on the Square base stands comparison although strictly speaking, being made of sourdough, we are talking about rather different things.

The crispness/chewiness ratio is key. There needs to be enough of both so that you can pick up a slice with one hand, fold the diameter corner points together slightly so that the central tip of the slice stays horizontal enough so it can reach your gob without flopping down like Concorde’s nose.

(Image: Malcolm Warne)

These pizzas passed that test with flying colours – and an awful of rocket (more of which later).

Sylvia’s meatball marinara (£14.50) featured herby pork meatballs, mozzarella, bacon, spring onion and fresh basil.

My bosco (£13.50) was a topping of pork and fennel Italian sausage, red onion, ‘wild mushroom, olive oil – and a lot of rocket.

Rocket is clearly a thing here. Understandably so as it is quintessentially Italian. But the only side salad offered is a rocket, red onion, tomato, balsamic and parmesan one (£5.50) which would have been lovely had there been a bit more tomato, red onion and balsamic dressing.

The pile of rocket leaves heavily doused in parmesan meant a mouthful tasted like tucking into kiln-dried wood shavings. I certainly didn’t need more rocket on my pizza.

(Image: Malcolm Warne)

Service was a bit mixed. Having said that the vibe here is a bit rough and ready, street foody. You choose a table, order your food and drinks at the bar and pizzas are served on circles of cardboard. It is, however, very quick.

But the young man who took our order was the epitome of disinterest. No eye-contact. Fingers jabbing the touchscreen like it was something he wanted to put his fist through and a “Computer Says No” barked request for £44.45.

That included a side order of hot and crispy fries (£4.50) and halves of lager – a zero per cent Peroni and a Madri Excepcionel – a triumph of British marketing I recently realised. The branding suggests it is brewed to an ancient recipe by a traditional Spanish brewer and has “El Alma de Madrid” (“the soul of Madrid”). It’s actually brewed in Tadcaster.

Well, I suppose as we were in the “food capital of Yorkshire”, beer brewed in Taddy is entirely appropriate.

But like the lager, perhaps Malton’s claim to be the county’s culinary centre of excellence is just a triumph of spin over substance.

Pizza on the Square

Old Town Hall, Market Place YO17 7LW

Tel: 01653 531000

Web: saltbeerfactory.co.uk/pizza-on-the-square/

Open: Monday to Saturday noon-9pm; Sunday noon-7pm

Ratings (out of ten): Food quality 8 Service 6, Surroundings 9 Value 7