Married At First Sight Australia episode 4 recap: Groom brutally criticises wife’s looks
After sleeping on that the couple awoke to a fresh start when Tim assured his wife that it’s not just her looks, it’s her personality too.
“It’s not just physical though. I normally probably go quieter woman.” The music paused for dramatic effect.
“And even funny,” he added, not looking at his wife.
The exchange went from cringe to excruciating.
“Should we strip off nude and run around the forest?” Katie joked.
“You do it and I’ll just put the blinds up,” Tim said in his slightly too small Oscar-the-Grouch-coloured beanie.
Note to self: Must go on an expedition to find out where Nice Guys get their audacity from.
Next, we meet Jake who describes himself as “quirky”, and who is getting married to Ashleigh, who said she’s looking for “quirky”. Nice work, experts.
Jake, like Tim, is a PE teacher. We hope that’s the only thing the pair have in common.
While waiting for his bride at the altar, Jake mistakes a bridesmaid in an orange gown walking down the aisle toward her seat for his bride.
“Stunning,” he said before being asked to turn back around by the marriage celebrant.
We see Rhi and Jeff getting married next.
“I feel like I’m homesick for a place that I don’t know exists,” said Rhi in an ethereal voiceover.
Same, girl, same.
Shockingly – and definitely not in a scripted way – it turned out that Rhi and Jeff already know each other “well”.
And it’s the second couple on the show to have dated previously. Fans and producers hope like hell this does not mean a boring narrative for the season.
“Rhi used to see him,” one wedding guest whispered to another, who replied with the appropriate:
“Shut up.”
“They’ve slept together a few times,” one bloke squeaked.
Fast forward, Adrien and Awhina are having a romantic dinner on the beach on Denarau Island, Fiji.
Their chemistry is “palpable”, says the Mafs narrator. Until comes out the Honeymoon Box, which contains provoking questions.
“Its purpose is to help expedite the process,” said John. What he meant is its purpose is to cause a train wreck and create drama for bloody-thirsty fans.
The first question from the Honeymoon Box is related to Awhina’s son and feelings around family.
“How important is having a family to you?” it read.
Which compelled Adrien to say the worst thing he could.
“I don’t know if I could love my kids as much as your kid,” he declared as Awhina sat there with her mouth open, speechless.
Sis, run.
Varsha Anjali is a multimedia journalist at the Herald. Based in Auckland, she covers culture, travel, and more.